Maternal Worries

I guess I worried too soon yesterday. Turns out they did very well, and the directors told them so even before the results were announced. I'll blame it on an early morning that did not start out well and still thinking of my 14 year old as a sensitive preschooler.

I can already see that it will continue to be hard to see my children face adversity as they grow older. When they're small, I can wipe the tears and counsel about friendships and give constructive help. As they get older, I can listen, and facilitate activities, and nag about responsibility. And I'm sure as they leave the nest we'll be torn by the need to support financially versus the character building of making it on your own. I can only hope that we find the right balance. I don't want my children to come back and live in the basement, but on the other hand, I want them to know they will always be loved and we'll catch them if they fall.

I don't think it gets easier as they get older, just different.

The Danger of Baking, or "Self-Control? What's That?"

I have to figure out how to make just enough baked goods for band events with a little leftover for the family and not enough for me. Of couse, that doesn't seem to be helping me stop sampling while I'm baking. Making only enough for the band doesn't help, because then I get the huge guilt trip from Rachel and William.

I made blondies for the football game on Friday night, and have eaten an embarrassing amount since then (both baked and unbaked, I'm afraid). John refused to take them to Maryland with him, but every time I walk by the kitchen they are calling to me.

I suppose I need William to hide them, because if I hide them? I still know where they are.

Biggest Loser

I feel like I should preface this with "I'm not dead yet!" because it's been so long since I posted. It's been a mixed summer - I've gained back some weight, not as much as I had thought, but more than I hoped. I'm getting back into going to the gym regularly, which should help. Routine helps - I'm very bad about mindless eating when we're just hanging out around the house. Although given how badly I've binged and the crap that I've eaten, I don't feel too bad about the weight gain. Not like it was a surprise.

I've signed up for the Biggest Loser competition at the gym again. Based on last years experience, I could win this time. But I did it in the spring and didn't take it seriously. Feeling more motivated now. If I can really focus on the eating plan, I know the weight will come off - I just have to maintain focus. And I'm going to try to add in some other exercise as well. Last time was only Curves, now I hope to add some aerobic something on other days as well.

Anybody else feeling motivated with the new school year?

Stretch

It has been awhile since I have posted...mostly because I have been busy and I have not been doing so well with the exercise thing (or even just the drinking enough water thing).\

So I have been cleaning and sorting and decreasing our amount of stuff around the house.

I have gained back some of the weight that I have lost but not all of it. Part of this is due to Jim looking for a job so that they end up dropping me off on campus and not me parking and walking. I am hoping that with the kids starting back to preschool next week that it will establish more of a routine for us which should help.

I also have realized that I have been feeling stiff lately. Some of this is due to my children's amazing knack for sliding across my knee cap (ow) but I realized that I miss stretching and that having to sit in front of a computer a lot this summer has not helped that.
So....I decided to DVR a yoga show and at least do some of the stretching in it.
Since Jim accidentally erased my first two recordings (he didn't realize I wanted it recorded) today I did my first one.
It felt good but I realized:

1. I can't do it with children around. Whenever I sit on the floor the kids want to sit on me. Perhaps I can work on getting them to do it with me.
2. I like the stretching because it feels good
3. I'll have to work on the transitions between poses.
4. I'll have to work on my breathing. Most of my breathing was exactly opposite from what they were telling you to do during movement.

Anyway, hoping to get back on track.

One down, one to go...

Yesterday I did the Littleton Appleman Triathlon. I wasn't really well-trained, but it was a fun race and I finished. With a better time than I expected, really. I though it was very well run, it wasn't too competitive, there were lots of women, the water was warm, the bike ride was hilly but very do-able, and the run was... well... interesting. The run actually went partly through a field and then through the woods. This trail portion was about 1/3 of the run. Kind of fun! I didn't do much (read: almost none) training with the swimming or biking. So my swim was incredibly slow, but I was expecting that. I did better than I expected on the bike because I only had last year's tri to estimate. Last year my brake was rubbing and apparently it slowed me down a lot because now I'm riding much quicker.

Next week I'm doing the Danskin in Webster, MA. I'm looking forward to it, I guess, but I'm dreading having to go for an overnight just to do the Tri. It should be really fun because there's 5 of us going together. The swim won't be too bad because, if it's the same as last year, it's way less than the 12 mile it claims to be. The bike should be easier because, well, I just explained that, and I'm running much better than I was last year.

Now let's hope there's not too much rain this week so I can go out and swim and bike and run. And let's hope that there's not thunderstorms, as predicted, on the day of the race.

Checking In

Hi! It's been a while since I've checked in here.

For a while I was trying to go to 3 classes per week at the gym. That was working fairly well for a while, and then some other stuff came up. One of the things that came up was my trip to the Grand Canyon!

Yes! I did it! Starting on the north rim, we did a loop down to the Colorado River, along the river a way, and then back up to the north rim. It was challenging but doable. It was strenuous, yet relaxing. Pushing myself to go, go, go, (slow and steady) every day was not so hard without the mental burdens of kids, house, phone, computer, etc. I could just let my mind go, enjoy the scenery, and will my feet to keep moving! I will be posting some pics and/or a video on my other blog shortly.

Next up are the 2 sprint triathlons that I've signed up for this summer. Today I went to the pool for the first time. I'll never be a strong swimmer, but hopefully I'll get into a swimming groove that will get me through the 1/2 mile in a reasonable time. I need to do a little maintenance on the bike, but hopefully my spinning classes will have paid off once I do get on the bike. (I need to keep going to those classes.) I have some training routes planned out for the bike -- I just need to put some dates on my calendar to do them. I've been running. Not enough, but some. I still maintain my 11+ min mile, but that's just my pace. I'm able to keep going for a whole 3 miles. My next step with the running is to do some slightly longer distances so that 3 miles seems like cake. Next Monday I'm going with one of my Tri buddies to do the run route from one of the races. It has a large section off-road that is rumored to be challenging because of rocks and roots. We'd like to have done it once.

If I could just watch my eating more, perhaps I would lose weight. Even though I'm definitely stronger, I'm really not losing my big bowl-of-jello belly. Sigh. Will-power. I need some.

Finally, I've got to start thinking about a goal to put on the schedule after my races. Historically, once my event is over, I give myself permission to relax a bit, and then I never get back to the workouts. I will be a member at the gym until next January, so I at least need to keep the classes on my schedule. If you have any ideas for goals, let me know!

Official

Well, it's official. I had my post-partum appointment yesterday. And while I've lost an amazing amount of the weight (only about 8 pounds to go) thanks to Breastfeeding, I'd like to lose the additional 10-20 lbs I wanted to lose before I got pregnant. I'm counting on nursing to make it easier since I've always struggled to lose weight normally unless I got sick. Since I'd rather not get sick anyway, I'm back to walking to start with. I started walking about two weeks after Matt was born, but it's been very irregular since I've been tired (imagine that!) and his schedule adds one more thing to work around. But, hopefully that will all get easier sooner and we can get out and a about as things get more predictable. I need to get work scheduled in all this (I've unofficially started working again, but am a little lazy about it since I'm so tired).
At least the weather has been better and that should help us get out as lon gas it doesn't get too hot. Wish me luck!

One Week!

In a week, I'm headed off on a 5-day backpacking trip in the Grand Canyon!! I'm a bit nervous about it, but mostly just excited.

Yesterday, as a sort of warm-up, I went by myself to hike up Mt. Monadnock in NH. The interesting thing about trails in NH is that you can always find one that goes straight up from the parking lot to the top. So it was 2 miles in each direction, steep, and rocky. My heels were getting pretty hot, threatening to blister up, so I need to figure out how to best lace my boots. I appear to not have blisters, so that's good.

Anyway, I felt pretty good about the hike. I was slow and steady. I never got so tired or winded that I couldn't keep going. My knees feel it this morning, but not too badly. In all, I'm feeling ok about the trip next week. I know I could be (should be!) in better shape, but I'm fairly confident that I can get through the whole trip. I'm really excited about my week away and seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time!!

dragged kicking and screaming

So, my awesome office mate has been dragging me (not really kicking and screaming) running at lunch on Tuesdays. We ran a 5K both last Tuesday and today. Last week the run kicked my butt. This week, I managed to make it to the end without keeling, but didn't have enough oomph to run run at the end. I'm hoping that soon, I'll be able to not only complete the run, but also have enough to sprint a bit at the end. Am I asking for too much? We'll see if my knees and feet hold out.

But, I've managed to lose NO weight. blah.

Committed

Well, not only am I signed up for two triathlons in July, but I'm also signed up for a 5-day guided backpacking trip in the Grand Canyon in May. That's less than two months away! Talk about motivation! I've never been to the Grand Canyon, and I'm really looking forward to it. It will prove to be very challenging, I'm sure, but I'm certain that I can make it through the trip in one piece. I wish I could have found a friend to join me, but it will be a fun adventure on my own. Right now there's a father-daughter pair also signed up for the trip (I believe a college-aged girl) and there's two openings left. The guide is apparently a long, long time veteran of the Canyon, so I'm confident it will be a good group and well-run. I'm particularly looking forward to the food, as they bring all fresh, (as fresh as you can get backpacking, I guess) and not the freeze-dried stuff that I'm used to.

If you're interested in reading about the trip, look here: Wildland Trekking, Wonders of the Grand Canyon Hike

Wish me luck! (Or, perhaps just have me committed!)

Update

Hey...it's been awhile. I haven't specifically been losing weight....at least off my body. I did today work hard and get pretty much all of the stuff that had been sitting around waiting to be donated out of the house. I have a couple of items that I need to find parts for and then at some point I need to go through books from my classroom, but we took a huge carload today and I have already loaded the car for what can go to the church rummage sale. It does make me "feel lighter" even if, as I told Jim, it feels sort of anti-climatic after all the work in cataloging what is going and getting it together and loading it that it only takes a couple of minutes to get it out of the car.

In the process of working in the workroom I spotted my jewelry box in a box and found my promise ring that my husband gave me the first year we dated. It looks a little tight but I can actually get it on.

Moving Forward

So, we had the baby shower yesterday. Now it's time to find out what we're missing and start filling things in. I'm feeling better then I have off and on since we've actually been sleeping. John's sick unfortunately so I keep hoping he'll feel better. I'm a little overwhelmed with some of my commitments. I keep having customers that want me to have quilts done and I'm more then booked till baby gets here in 5 weeks. It's frustrating that some people don't seem to care that I have a schedule and am planning to have a baby. Of course, I have the same problem with the quilt guild I'll be chair of next month (long story and bad timing). I can't seem to get volunteers to help with the raffle quilt. Yet, even if I don't end up on bed rest I can't be the only one working booths and selling tickets for multiple days on end at different venues. Let alone I'm due in the middle of the last month of ticket sales...
Here's hoping that I can guilt some people into helping at Tuesdays guild meeting... I think I'll have to play the bed rest card even if I don't want to share that much personal info with the entire guild.
I am getting excited to meet the little one though. And really, I'm not going to worry in the long run about this extra stuff because baby comes first and I've more then given the guild the chance to step up and help out.

A Good Day

So yesterday I took the kids into New York, and did reasonably well at making good choices, and came home and pigged out WHILE I was making dinner. Because I was tired.

But today has been a good day - while I didn't completely follow the Curves "Phase I" which is only 1200 cal/day (only for a week), I actually mostly followed it and was probably around 1600 calories. Which is still pretty low and where I was for most of the weight loss last fall. And I didn't have the late afternoon pigout that's been my biggest problem.

Yes, I know I'm aiming for 1-2 lbs/week, but I've been creeping up again and need a kick in the pants to get myself back on track. I'm planning 3 days on 1200ish cal, then back to the more realistic 1600ish. And I'm trying to be very mindful of changing habits as a way of planning for the future - if I always revert back to the 4pm pigout, I'll gain all of this weight back. And I don't want that.

Progress I think

Besides the fact that my father-in-law noticed that I looked like I had lost some weight, we went to a Mardi Gras Parade and Jim caught and adult size large shirt that I can actually wear and it looks good. It's a little tight around the hips but the rest looks good so that made me feel pretty good.

I'm hoping that the "weight" that I gained while we were there is actually water retention and will go away quickly.

Keep Hanging On!

Everyone still hanging in there? I'm doing better this week - weather is helping (somehow it's easier to have salad for lunch when it's 50-60 outside than when it's 20). And I went back to the original Curves diet that I followed in the fall. The new one is not hard, but it has too many choices for me, too easy to cheat. Or something. Or at least have everything BUT fruit and veggies, and I really think the emphasis on those during the last plan helped me a lot.

Of course, I bought Valentine's m&m's "for the kids" on the theory that I don't like them that much, and would rather have peanut.

Guess I like them enough.

Checking in

How are the workouts going Jill? Wanted to see if you were holding yourself to your plan and that you are feeling better!

Ann, are you still hitting curves like you want to each week?

Susan how are the kids and how's your sanity with school right now?

Julia, haven't heard from you in a while! Hope you are doing well. How are things going with the work/life balance?

Just thought I'd check and see how everyone is doing and see if we're reaching our goals or not. I'm trying to start walking again in the evenings as much as possible since John took over the morning walks. Been nice to have more time to get work done and get an early start, but it means I've gotten lazy since our bad weather. However, birthing classes start tomorrow night so we're getting closer to delivery.

Follow up

Well, after I joined and went to the gym last week, I proceeded to catch Sierra's cold. So I didn't work out again until yesterday. But yesterday I did a 1/2 hour spinning class (I'm easing into the spinning) and today I did the Muscle Conditioning on the Ball class again. I love this class. She works on muscles through the whole body, including a lot of work on the back and abs, which I really, really need. Because Steve and I both are making the working out a priority, we are helping each other make time and encouraging each other to go. I'm still optimistic, despite the 6 days off due to sickness.

Oh, and I signed up for a mini triathlon in July called the Appleman and plan to sign up for the Danskin (the week following the Appleman) as soon as registration opens.

Optimism

Well, I joined the gym. I took a class last night. (I expect to be very sore tomorrow....) The class was great, the instructor was funny, and I think I'll really enjoy going on a regular basis. I shouldn't need to join a gym -- I've got most of a gym in my basement -- but there's something about a membership and classes and friends that take classes that's more motivating than the equipment in my basement.
Steve and I have been talking about setting a real schedule for getting in shape. We're making it a priority to not only work out, but help each other work out. (He actually worked out 12 days in a row. Of course, it helped that he was on a cruise with his company for 5 of those days!) We're realizing that being lazy, not only about being physically fit, but also about our making time for ourselves and one another, is not helping us maintain our happiness. So we're working on it all.
I'm committed to doing at least one triathlon this year and go on one backpacking trip. And the workouts start... yesterday.

Minor Moral Victory

The kids are off of school today, and I went to the gym anyway. Woo Hoo! And I got weighed - 2.5lbs lost this week. And that includes a week that had a lot of struggling both with food choices and portion control. Yeah, I would have lost more if I'd done better, but my goal was 2-3 lbs. So woo hoo!

The bad news is, because I lost weight while still cheating left and right, that feels like license to cheat. If I can keep it under control, that's ok. If I get too lax, that's a bad thing.

New Year's Goals, East Coast version

I don't know if I really have "goals", I suppose I should make an attempt to come up with something measurable.

I did attend the new session of the weight management class at Curves today. They have a new plan out, so we watched a video about it. It's basically similar to the old plan, you do a week of 1200 calories, and then bump up to 4 weeks of 1500 calories, then take two weeks "off" at 2000-2500 calories, all in an effort to keep your metabolism revved up and burn fat rather than muscle. It again emphasizes lean protein and whole grains, the difference this time is they've set up an exchange system. They have suggested menus for each meal and snack, but they're not specific, and they have more info on how to substitute equivalent foods to meet your tastes. For example, breakfast might be 1 starch + 1 protein, and then you check the list of foods to see what starch and protein you want. They do tell you calorie and nutrion guidelines, so you figure out portions and add favorite foods that might not be on the list. There's also a list of "free" vegetables, drinks, and condiments.

I was trying to go back to the original 1200 cal week from the original plan, but I've not been succeeding this week. I'm a little concerned that I've lost my mojo, but on the other hand, the more mindful I am about eating, the more I've been loosing, even if I don't diet strictly. And that's overall good - they made a big deal about patience and the time it will take to loose a substantial amount of weight. And how it's a lifestyle change. Definitely still working on that part of it.

Other goals? Keep the house cleaner, knit more, stamp more. Basically trying to keep up with life and not feel like I'm dropping so many balls.

New Year's Goals

Ok, so I am going to keep it simple with what I want this year...
1) Keep losing weight (I'm not going to specify an amount just that I keep going down even if gradual and that I at least don't go up).
2) Strike some sort of balance between work and home needs (rather than feeling guilty all around or disappointed that I am not on top of any of it)
3) Doug & Andy be potty trained (I am really hoping much earlier than next December...but lately I am feeling like it is somewhat my fault because it feels like we don't have time to work on it because we are always so busy and the times that I am planning to concentrate on it we either get sick or end up traveling)
So three goals. They are probably not as specific as the "experts" would recommend, but those are my goals.

Falling off the wagon

I don't know about everyone else, but I've not exactly been watching what I eat this holiday season. Or rather, I've watched myself eat a whole lot of stuff.

I did really well for the first week, than the last week has gone downhill. Too many yummy leftovers. Too many lunches that weren't really planned and became an afternoon of bits and rests - a bit of this and the rest of that.

Monday, I'm planning on going to the gym, and climbing back on the diet horse. I don't want to have to get out the bigger clothes again! Anybody with me?