I've been trying to be positive. I've been trying not to be negative. I've been making happy lists. I've been trying to shake it off. I've been smiling when I don't feel like it.
Truth be told, I just want to bite someone's head off. I don't really care who's head it is at this point. Anyone's will do. Screwy thing is I don't even know what I'm so pissy about anymore.
Sigh.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Hmmmm....
Ok, I'm feeling better today, in a way. I haven't sat down and done my "10 favorite things" list, because I was cranky enough that it seemed hard. I'm still eating poorly, but trying to be at least aware of the choices I'm making (even if they're bad). And physically, I'm having a bad day, achy and my back hurts.
But you know what? It's all better, because I know WHY. It's that time (you know, THAT time), and I am much more hormonal in the past few years than I ever remember before. It isn't necessarily an excuse, but I know WHY I feel like I have to shove everything in my mouth, and I'm cranky and tired and depressed. And knowing why makes it feel better already. And hopefully, as I work on strategies, it gets a little easier to handle.
And because it's cyclic, in a couple of days I'll feel much better, and can work on strategies to prepare for next time. I have to remember that I don't have to feel ambushed, I should anticipate and prepare. As best I can, at least!
But you know what? It's all better, because I know WHY. It's that time (you know, THAT time), and I am much more hormonal in the past few years than I ever remember before. It isn't necessarily an excuse, but I know WHY I feel like I have to shove everything in my mouth, and I'm cranky and tired and depressed. And knowing why makes it feel better already. And hopefully, as I work on strategies, it gets a little easier to handle.
And because it's cyclic, in a couple of days I'll feel much better, and can work on strategies to prepare for next time. I have to remember that I don't have to feel ambushed, I should anticipate and prepare. As best I can, at least!
Chiming in
I just had a friend change how she does her "to do's" lists. Instead of listing things she has to do (which I still do since sometimes I need the visual), she lists her things as "things done". It's a way to look at the positive things you've done in a day, and not get hung up on the things you haven't gotten to. If you think about each of our days it's a busy time, and we could fill every moment with work and things but it'd be exhausting! Kids and family are probably a huge part of the "done" list since getting them to school, making lunches/dinners/etc. are a big part of everyday energy.
On another positive note I heard someone saying how important it was to rework our thinking. So instead of beating ourselves up over negative things in the day, have you and/or spouse/kids etc. list 3 positive things that happened to you for the day. John finds that more challenging then I do because I'm the optimist and he's the realist in our relationship, but that makes it interesting too.
So far this morning (and it's just aver 7am here), I have 1. slept better then I did last night (no headache) and 2. got to snuggle under the covers and hit snooze which I love and 3. Looking forward to working from home today which will hopefully mean more progress here.
=)
Lisa
On another positive note I heard someone saying how important it was to rework our thinking. So instead of beating ourselves up over negative things in the day, have you and/or spouse/kids etc. list 3 positive things that happened to you for the day. John finds that more challenging then I do because I'm the optimist and he's the realist in our relationship, but that makes it interesting too.
So far this morning (and it's just aver 7am here), I have 1. slept better then I did last night (no headache) and 2. got to snuggle under the covers and hit snooze which I love and 3. Looking forward to working from home today which will hopefully mean more progress here.
=)
Lisa
Monday, April 7, 2008
10 things ooolia's like
To borrow from Susan's last post:
Ten things I like (that don't involve food) :
1. Silliness with my boys.
2. Fresh flowers in the garden.
3. Getting mail from a friend.
4. New blog postings.
5. Waking up before the alarm clock.
6. Playing with Willapa (especially since she's old and often grumpy).
7. Hugs and kisses from M, T, and/or C.
8. Doing stuff outside.
9. Finishing a knitting/crochet/sewing project (although these days I'm happy to get to work on it).
10. Talking with friends.
Ten things I like (that don't involve food) :
1. Silliness with my boys.
2. Fresh flowers in the garden.
3. Getting mail from a friend.
4. New blog postings.
5. Waking up before the alarm clock.
6. Playing with Willapa (especially since she's old and often grumpy).
7. Hugs and kisses from M, T, and/or C.
8. Doing stuff outside.
9. Finishing a knitting/crochet/sewing project (although these days I'm happy to get to work on it).
10. Talking with friends.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
10 things I like
My inspiration after Ann's last post was to think about things that I enjoy doing (that do not involve food...though I like eating stuff too....)
Ten things I like (That don’t involve food):
Listed in no particular order…
10. Having a DVR to watch my favorite shows whenever I want (Whose Line is it Anyway, Ace of Cakes, Good Eats, etc.)
9. Playing Everquest
8. Being able to cross something off my to-do list (even if it is that I have made a to-do list)
7. Hugs from Doug, Andy, & Jo
6. Kisses and being close to Jim
5. Doing neat things with my kids (going to the park, having a picnic, going to the library, etc.)
4. Music I can sing with (I need to listen more than I do)
3. Blogging (yes I am addicted enough that I sometimes think in blog entries)
2. Learning something new and interesting
1. Reading something for entertainment
I challenge each of you to list the things you enjoy doing...the things that you do to perk up your day and make you happy.
Ten things I like (That don’t involve food):
Listed in no particular order…
10. Having a DVR to watch my favorite shows whenever I want (Whose Line is it Anyway, Ace of Cakes, Good Eats, etc.)
9. Playing Everquest
8. Being able to cross something off my to-do list (even if it is that I have made a to-do list)
7. Hugs from Doug, Andy, & Jo
6. Kisses and being close to Jim
5. Doing neat things with my kids (going to the park, having a picnic, going to the library, etc.)
4. Music I can sing with (I need to listen more than I do)
3. Blogging (yes I am addicted enough that I sometimes think in blog entries)
2. Learning something new and interesting
1. Reading something for entertainment
I challenge each of you to list the things you enjoy doing...the things that you do to perk up your day and make you happy.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Two Steps Backward
I am keeping up with my commitment to get to Curves three times a week (keep trying, Julia!). But I am eating horribly. Too much and mostly poor snack choices. Yes, I know I should have a little protein and a little carbs for snacks, and space them out through the day so I don't get too hungry, and watch portion control, and all that.
But at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, when I'm TIRED, I'm shoving whatever junk I can find in my mouth. It starts with being hungry, and then it's like I just can't stop. I have actually gained weight since I joined Curves (just a little), but not lost inches anywhere either.
I know that part of the problem is that I'm tired. I'm not getting to bed early enough, and getting up at 6 to see JC off to school. I have no willpower when I'm tired, and sometimes it feels like I'm eating to stay awake. Part of the problem is that I'm stressing over the consignment sale - and one of my (not good) reactions is to freeze. I'm not doing the things that need to be done, because, well, I don't really know why. It's this procrastination response where I feel like I'm bored, even though I have things that I really need to do, but I can't get started. And then I eat.
I know I can do this sale, I've done 3 or 4 as the lead coordinator, and numerous others as a helper. But I'm REALLY short on consignors and I just feel... unmotivated. I'll get it together, but not in a terribly graceful way, and we'll make money, but probably not as much as we could have, and... I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I am depressed, in the clinical sense. I'm pretty high functioning, but I could do much more if I could just get moving!
But at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, when I'm TIRED, I'm shoving whatever junk I can find in my mouth. It starts with being hungry, and then it's like I just can't stop. I have actually gained weight since I joined Curves (just a little), but not lost inches anywhere either.
I know that part of the problem is that I'm tired. I'm not getting to bed early enough, and getting up at 6 to see JC off to school. I have no willpower when I'm tired, and sometimes it feels like I'm eating to stay awake. Part of the problem is that I'm stressing over the consignment sale - and one of my (not good) reactions is to freeze. I'm not doing the things that need to be done, because, well, I don't really know why. It's this procrastination response where I feel like I'm bored, even though I have things that I really need to do, but I can't get started. And then I eat.
I know I can do this sale, I've done 3 or 4 as the lead coordinator, and numerous others as a helper. But I'm REALLY short on consignors and I just feel... unmotivated. I'll get it together, but not in a terribly graceful way, and we'll make money, but probably not as much as we could have, and... I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I am depressed, in the clinical sense. I'm pretty high functioning, but I could do much more if I could just get moving!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Wanted: Exercise Buddy
It's become abundantly clear to me in the last month that I really really need an exercise buddy. I really want to get off my duff and get moving again. I'm motivated. My body is motivated (also known as cranky and stiff and sore). Sitting at my computer for 40 hours a week is driving me NUTS.
But, I can't seem to just do it. In the morning I just want to get out of the house, to the office, and get my day started (and the gym is the wrong direction in terms of traffic). At lunch, I want some company and FOOD. By the end of the day, I just want to get my kids home and fed and in bed so I might have a little bit of time before I collapse. I know that if I had an exercise buddy in the morning or at lunch, I'd be much more likely to get moving.
Maybe after Spring break, I'll just get up early enough to go for a walk or run before waking the kids. Here's to dreaming.
*************
So I just called the local Curves. They're TWO blocks from my house, but they don't open until 6:30 in the morning. Sounds early enough except that I absolutely positively NEED to get T up by 7 AM in order for him to be ready for carpool at 7:35 AM and there's NO WAY for me to squeeze in a workout and get back up the hill (even w/ a CAR) in time for that to happen.
Oh, I'm just SO frustrated.
But, I can't seem to just do it. In the morning I just want to get out of the house, to the office, and get my day started (and the gym is the wrong direction in terms of traffic). At lunch, I want some company and FOOD. By the end of the day, I just want to get my kids home and fed and in bed so I might have a little bit of time before I collapse. I know that if I had an exercise buddy in the morning or at lunch, I'd be much more likely to get moving.
Maybe after Spring break, I'll just get up early enough to go for a walk or run before waking the kids. Here's to dreaming.
*************
So I just called the local Curves. They're TWO blocks from my house, but they don't open until 6:30 in the morning. Sounds early enough except that I absolutely positively NEED to get T up by 7 AM in order for him to be ready for carpool at 7:35 AM and there's NO WAY for me to squeeze in a workout and get back up the hill (even w/ a CAR) in time for that to happen.
Oh, I'm just SO frustrated.
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