I finally came to a realization about at least a good part of the reason I have such a problem going to bed on time.
Despite the fact that I go to work and spend time away from the kids, while I am at work I am running around like a crazy woman trying to get things done. When I am at home I am with the kids and running around like a crazy woman trying to take care of children and get things done.
The evenings are my only real time that things might be quiet. Usually I try to get whatever chores done and I then can have maybe some quiet time. However I also don't necessarily want the last thing I do during the day to be that I have cleaned the kitchen (or whatever the chore happens to be). I don't mind ending with the feeling I have accomplished a job but somehow doing the kitchen over and over and over again is not the same as say...I unpacked a box, or I sorted out all of my clothes to be donated, or I did something creative.
So therefore I find myself doing little stupid things and staying up really late. It probably doesn't hurt that pre-children my natural preference was for late night (not late late night...just late night....)
So now that I have come to realization that I am fighting my natural preference, craving some quiet time, and generally looking to end the day on something more meaningful or fun...I have to figure out how I am going to address this issue.
3 comments:
I don't know if it helps to say "you're not alone." I've been ultra grumpy, esp w/ M recently, and I suspect it's for a similar reason.
Although I'm out of the house at work during the day, I'm busy being at work. At home from the moment I get up until the boys go to bed (which has been when I go to bed), I'm Mama. That doesn't leave much time (or energy) for being Ooolia.
Good luck on finding some balance.
I know I stay up WAY too late every night because I savor that "me" time. It's quiet and I can do whatever I want. Unfortunately, I rarely get enough stuff done that I really need to because I always feel that I "deserve" to relax.
You do deserve to relax. I don't know any solution to this problem except to recognize it, plan as best you can, and either let things go (chores) or enlist help. Start now teaching the kids to help around the house - trust me, it gets harder later! Have your "executive planning meeting" and figure out who is responsible for what, but recognize that it is not going to be 50/50 at all times. But both you and your spouse need to have time for yourselves and your interests. With little kids, you have to get creative. As they get older, if you can get them involved in running the house, it does help.
I still struggle with this too, though. :)
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